Zatch's First Letter from the MTC (dated 28 June 12):
Hi all,
Sorry I didn't email sooner. We had language-software computer time Friday but they didn't explicitly tell us to email family, and in spite of my whining about the stupid rules I'm pretty good at being obedient. Hopefully you got my hand-written letter by now. I sent it last week I think. And at least you aren't as bad as my roommate Elder Cozzen's family. His dad called so many times they made him write home Monday and send an early email Wednesday.
Thanks for sending me KB's MTC letter, Dad. I won't ever read it/them on email while I'm here since time is monitored so how's abouts DearEldering it to me? From what I remember, though, I think my experience is the same as his so far, including the cup-flipping and the "Hey, look! Missionaries!" Just replace "Malay" with "Spanish" and "Church of Scarecrows of the Last Days" with "The Holy Ghost descended in the form of a prostitute" (Mateo 3:16). I guess that's the idea. This whole place is all just one big exercise in homogeneity. All the RMs I've talked to have said "The MTC is what you make of it." By that I assume they all mean "It sucks, but humans are surprisingly adaptable and optimistic." And lest you think I'm just being a downer, my comp Elder Herzog, who is quite level-headed, well-adjusted, and just generally a better person, of his own accord the other day remarked "This place is like The Village."
And speaking of homogeneity, I've encountered Breanna Jones (who, being female, short, and dark-haired was easy to spot), and Kaeden Jacobs and Russell Melland (from my Tucson ward), who, being white males with dirty-blons-ish hair, were not easy to spot . Kaeden happens to have class immediately above my classroom and Russell and I happened to just walk past each other one day. I've since seen Kaeden a few times, and I saw Bre quite a few times before she left (probably a lot more than she saw me. She ate a lot of wraps and sat, on average, 4 rows to my north. That's not weird, right?).
I like my MTC group pretty well. The district gets along well (for the most part) and several other leaders and missionaries have remarked to us just how good we have it. My teacher Bro. Lucero has a McCann-like sense of humor, which if I had to describe I would say is mostly passive, "let the jokes make themselves" kind of thing. Elder Feller in my district reminds me a lot of my Tucson roommate Bert Grabinger, but with a thing for Justin Bieber.
I hate myself just a little bit for telling these next two stories, but KJ will enjoy them so whatever. It was mission president weekend over the past few days (no, I didn't meet K's new pres), which means there were rumors of an Apostle giving the Sunday evening fireside (false) and the Tuesday evening devotional (true). I'm pretty sure if Jesus was standing in line for the devotional with all the men and women wearing his nametag he wouldn't have gotten in because: a) no suitcoat, and b) no mercy. It worked out for Herzog and I, though. By the time we got in they opened up seating on the floor, so we sat about 12 rows back from the Quorum of the Twelve (sans Packer and Hales) and the presidents of the Seventy. Plus I got an aisle seat (=extra foot-room).
Later that evening, Herzog and I were asked to escort a new missionary to dinner since he was a day early. When we dropped him off at the front desk later, we saw scriptures belonging to "Elder R.G. Scott" in the lost-and-found.
Dad, quit worrying about me. I'm just guessing here but that seems like something you'd do. You can start worrying about me when I stop making cult jokes (then you'll know they got to me).
Mom, congrats on your job. As I recall, this makes two years in a row that you got a job the day I left home. Your welcome, I guess.
KJ, happy late birthday again. Buy your own cigarettes now.
Everybody, if you write me I'll write you back. Promise. But you have to go first since I have no addresses.
Love, Z
P.S. Add breanna.jones to the forward list. Also Sarah Robishaw, though to find her email address you'll have to log in to my dudeman4 account. And if you really want to send me something, good bread would be acceptable. Plus spinach, if you can think of a good way to preserve it. Ideally not cans.
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