In the meantime, I'd been thinking about how much of a role media plays in influencing my mental well-being. Mormons love to insist that rock music and rated-R movies are bad and MoTab and Disney are good, and I love to insist that that's a load of crap. There is good to be found everywhere; why should I let some arbitrarily-defined social conventions limit where I look? To use words that came to mind in a satisfying flash of inspiration: "An active immune system keeps you healthy. An overactive immune system gives you allergies."
My suspicion is that in the end it doesn't even matter, but I allowed the idea to cultivate in my mind and the following questions came up:
Is my media pushing me away from something more? Is it going to break me down? Is my mind like a little piece of paper with a picture drawn, floating on down the street 'til the wind is gone, where once the paper's crumpled up it can't be perfect again. Could it be the case that I've become so numb to reality through my media?
Surely my music and movies can't be all bad. I can always appreciate a beautiful day when I see one, for example. They happen all the time. I cherish the days when I see life in technicolor, and I love every friend that's ever been mine. Life is truly magnificent, and several times my movies and music have helped me to appreciate something completely new.
Ultimately I remembered one of my favorite personal mottos: Try it and see what happens. Thus after this epic mental battle, I knew what my sweet sacrifice would be. If I am a slave to my media intake, then it is up to me to release myself. Hence, I have given up the following things:
So I'm breaking the habit tonight. Well, no; this happened a month or two ago. Regardless, it will take some getting used to for me to accept this new divide between the media I'll ingest and the stuff I am forsaking. In choosing what I would take in, I've decided to lean 'overly-cautious' in hopes that whatever contrast I experience is more dramatic and easier to notice. The net result is that I have a system which is even more arbitrary than the one I was complaining about earlier.
Some early observations: As I'm waiting for the end to come to this self-imposed media diet, it's hard to let it go. I'm pretty sure there hasn't been a single day when some song from "A Thousand Suns" hasn't gotten stuck in my head. Holding on to what I haven't got, amirite?
My suspicion is that in the end it doesn't even matter, but I allowed the idea to cultivate in my mind and the following questions came up:
Is my media pushing me away from something more? Is it going to break me down? Is my mind like a little piece of paper with a picture drawn, floating on down the street 'til the wind is gone, where once the paper's crumpled up it can't be perfect again. Could it be the case that I've become so numb to reality through my media?
Surely my music and movies can't be all bad. I can always appreciate a beautiful day when I see one, for example. They happen all the time. I cherish the days when I see life in technicolor, and I love every friend that's ever been mine. Life is truly magnificent, and several times my movies and music have helped me to appreciate something completely new.
But maybe I'm deceiving myself. Maybe by forsaking angsty rock music I'll remember all the sadness and frustration and let it go. Maybe I've been living a lie. Maybe the weight of the world is clouding my vision. After all, when all we have left is deceptive, so disconnected, what is the truth now? I find the answer's not so clear.
Ultimately I remembered one of my favorite personal mottos: Try it and see what happens. Thus after this epic mental battle, I knew what my sweet sacrifice would be. If I am a slave to my media intake, then it is up to me to release myself. Hence, I have given up the following things:
- No movies or TV unless it's Clone Wars or I'm watching it with friends. Even then no R-rated movies, or even PG-13 unless there's a good reason for watching it (like Britney and my other roommates have to see Batman and Robin). In particular:
- No Batman
- No Star Wars (except, as I said, the Clone Wars; timeliness matters)
- No Jason Bourne
- No Star Trek
- No music, except for classical, jazz, the soundtracks to Narnia, Lord of the Rings, and The Incredibles, and Audio by Blue Man Group
- No Digg, CollegeHumor, etc.
So I'm breaking the habit tonight. Well, no; this happened a month or two ago. Regardless, it will take some getting used to for me to accept this new divide between the media I'll ingest and the stuff I am forsaking. In choosing what I would take in, I've decided to lean 'overly-cautious' in hopes that whatever contrast I experience is more dramatic and easier to notice. The net result is that I have a system which is even more arbitrary than the one I was complaining about earlier.
Some early observations: As I'm waiting for the end to come to this self-imposed media diet, it's hard to let it go. I'm pretty sure there hasn't been a single day when some song from "A Thousand Suns" hasn't gotten stuck in my head. Holding on to what I haven't got, amirite?
Over the next few months, I will look back at what I've done since the change, and see how it compares to the past. I've made notes in my journal and the early results are promising, albeit far from conclusive.
P.S. I didn't have to look at my iTunes library once when writing this. Maybe a break from my music was overdue.
P.P.S. The title references the fact that I've been working on this blog post off-and-on for a month-and-a-half. It also references this song.
